From: Charles Griswold <charlesg@bresnanlink.net>
To: Greg Porter <btrc@BTRC.NET>
Date: Saturday, January 27, 2001 11:39 AM
Subject: Re: Perl script

Greg Porter wrote:
> 
> Sure. I'll make it available on the site (eventually) if you don't mind.
> 

No problem. :)  Here it is.

-- Charles Griswold

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
#!/usr/bin/perl

sub deref;

srand ( time() ^ ($$ + ($$ << 15)) );

$adjective =  [qw/
Macho Renegade Alien Biker Rebel
Undead Mutant Barely-dressed Killer Obnoxious Drunken
Technicolor Electric Concrete Cyberpunk Cannibal Kamikaze
Diseased Head-hunting Pygmy Midget Giant Microscopic
Kindergarden Elementary_School Grade_School High_School College Graduate
Poor Middle_Class Upper_Class Rich Royal Feral
/,
[qw/Surf Surfer/]
];

$subject = [qw/
Penguins Bassalopes Dolphins Orcas Kittens Puppies Baby_Seals Pit_Bulls
Engineers Doctors Lawyers Insurance_Salesmen
Pizza_Deliverymen Policemen Firemen Stockbrokers Bankers
Catholics Protestants Game_Designers Gods TV_Evangelists Con_Men
Nuns Priests Agnostics Boy_Scouts Girl_Scouts Cub_Scouts Anarchists Terrorists
Muslims Buddhists Democrats Republicans Congressmen MPs
Street_Mimes Jugglers IRS_Agents Slime_Molds Talk_Show_Hosts Cretins
Spaniards Italians French Germans Mexicans Iranians
Irishmen Englishmen Chinese Japanese Poles Czechs
Hunters Fishers Campers Hikers Golfers Shoppers Motorists Cyclists Sunbathers
/];

$noun = [
"Guns With", "Chainsaws With", "Battle_tanks With In",
"Fighter-bombers With In", "Howitzers With", "Pointy_things With",

"Gold_Cards With", "Leprosy With", "No_Necks With",
"Bad_Taste With", "Style_and_Grace With", "Diplomatic_Immunity With",

["the_Sun From On", "Mercury From On", "Venus From On",
"Earth From On", "the_Moon From On In", "Mars From On",
"Jupiter From On", "Saturn From On", "Uranus From On In",
"Neptune From On", "Pluto From On"],

["Betelgeuse From On", "Cygnus_X From On", "Sirius From On",
"Andromeda From In", "Alpha_Centauri From On", "Tau_Ceti From On"],

"Anarctica From In", "Africa From In",
"Europe From In", "the_Government From In",

"Hell From In", "Cleveland From In", "Outer_Space From In",
"Hollywood From In", "Next_Door From", "Planet_X From On",

"Wheels On With", "Drugs On With", "a_Rampage On",
"Motorcycles On With", "Water_Buffalos On With", "Skateboards On With",

"Space From In", "Heat In With", "Bondage In", "Chains With In",
"PBS_Documentaries In With From", ["Jail In", "Prison In"], "Deep_Shit In"
];

$n = @ARGV[0] if defined @ARGV[0];

$n = 1 if not defined $n;

foreach (1..$n) {
	$adj = deref $adjective;
	$subj = deref $subject;
	$pp = deref $noun;
	
	@pp = split / /, $pp;
	
	$obj = shift @pp;
	$conj = @pp[int(rand $#pp+1)];
	
	$_ = "$adj $subj $conj $obj\n";
	
	s/_/ /g; print $_;
}

sub deref {
	$_ = shift @_;
	while (/ARRAY/) {
		@_ = @$_;
		$_ = @_[int(rand $#_+1)];
	}
	return $_;
}